Waiting

by dauntless111 Kapiti Coast New Zealand (thanks to dauntless111)

Currently I am trying to decide between 3 amazing options of what I should do for the next season of my life. All are good, all I would be disappointed in not doing...it's my mentality of "I want to do it ALL!" Alas, that is not possible...at least all at the same time, timing is the thing and so to do one means not to do the other...at least not now, but maybe in the future. Ah, how my heart is torn...I long to make the decision and move forward, to get on with my life, but God is stretching my heart, shaping it and moulding while I wait. While in Glasgow, we read this great book called Authentic Faith by Gary Thomas. My friend Sarah who was there with me had recently picked it up and read it again. She called me, saying I should take a look at it again as there was a chapter on waiting...a place where she and I are at right now. So I read it...in pieces and actually just finished it today. Good stuff, things I needed to hear for what is going on in my life at the moment.

"Waiting is the oxygen of love; it is the virtue that gives love its sustaining power."

"Perhaps God has given you a vision that burns in your soul. Initially, you received the call with excitement and enthusiasm, but now it’s been several months, or even years, and you feel like the beginning of that work has never been farther away. What attitude will you have as time goes on? Will you take comfort from God while you wait, learning the lessons God wants you to learn, or will begin accusing God of playing games with you? Remember this: God is not merely concerned with results but also with character-and few things produce character like learning how to wait. Paul's three cardinal virtues-faith, hope and love-are all built on the foundation of patient waiting."

"Wait on him with a spirit of humility, abandonment, with contentment and resignation."

All these portions had great impact on me...especially the longer one. Releasing my dreams that God has given me to make room for waiting, which is the foundation of faith, hope and love. What attitude have I had during this time...it ranges from waiting to busyness to apathy. I desire my character to be developed...isn't what this time here in the States was all about...taking care of me emotionally, spiritually, developing me to further the kingdom of God?! I have often failed in waiting, maybe for a time doing it, but getting so anxious about keeping going, moving and doing rather than being.
How perfect...the song "I will wait" by Jason Upton just came up on my iPod. The words..."I will wait on you Jesus, you're the sun in my horizon. All my hope's in you Jesus, I can see the sun arising." That was the chorus. One of the verses, "An evil army all around me, another wall gets in the way. But I believe the words you promised me, so I will wait another day." Those words start to bring tears to my eyes...