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Monday, July 10, 2006

Breathe

My journey has been long and hard as of late. Feelings of deep loneliness, unsure of life and where I am meant to go and a tender heart being wooed back by the love of God. I was in Santa Barbara a few weekends ago for the CRM world wide conference. It was a great time with friends and people who have journeyed with me and know my heart. My roommate from my time in Glasgow last year, Melanie, held me one evening as I wept. She said Beth, let yourself, let your soul breathe. I did...and it hurt and it refreshed. I had been suffocating myself for a long time, to breathe was a joy, but it brought an onslaught of tears, brokenness, pain, a stripping of my "self". This part of the song rings through my mind time and time again now as Breathing takes on a new meaning for me.

Breathe by Anna Nalick
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
inside of me, threatening the life they belong to
And i feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
oh breathe, just breathe.

I don't know where this life is taking me right now. New Zealand is still the goal, but I am not sure when it will be. The plan is Sept or Oct to leave if that is where God wants me. I will keep you all updated. Until then I am in Chicago.